Couples are always hiring me to stand next to their fake electric fireplaces and pop my knuckles, knees, hips, etc to simulate the sound of a real log burning. They can enjoy a few romantic nights this way but inevitably one or both of them develops an insatiable lust for my hypermobile and easily-injured joints and their relationship falls apart
i keep thinking my life will never change or that i will never change and that i will feel this way forever but really change is always happening microscopically and i may never realize it until years and years later
it’s so fucking hard to accept that someone else hurt me it makes me feel so fucking powerless and stupid for even letting that happen in the first place
they should invent a life that is liveable and a sleep that comes easy and a winter that doesn’t feel like decay and a spring that doesn’t feel like the past and a head that doesn’t hurt and a heart that doesn’t sit in your chest like a rock and a body that doesn’t hate you and a hometown that doesn’t make you lose your mind and a university that won’t kill you they should invent a me that is normal I think that would be really neat. ok good night I love you
idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it
Actually forget what I said. This dream is more important than anything
Mannn i wanna meet him to properly talk about this shit sober and clear things up but I don’t wanna ask him to meet again bc he’s putting in zero effort to see me
